Love & Pain

    Much-Afraid shrank back. "I am afraid," she said. "I have been told that if you really love someone you give that loved one the power to hurt and pain you in a way nothing else can."

    "That is true," agreed the Shepherd. "To love does mean to put yourself into the power of the loved one and to become very vulnerable to pain, and you are very Much-Afraid of pain, are you not?"

    She nodded miserably and then said shamefacedly, "Yes, very much afraid of it."

    "But it is so happy to love," said the Shepherd quietly. "It is happy to love even if you are not loved in return. There is pain too, certainly, but Love does not think that very significant."

    Much-Afraid thought suddenly that he had the most patient eyes she had ever seen. At the same time there was something in them that hurt her to the heart, though she could not have said why, but she still shrank back in fear and said (bringing the words out very quickly because somehow she was ashamed to say them), "I would never dare to love unless I were sure of being loved in return. If I let you plant the seed of Love in my heart will you give me the promise that I shall be loved in return? I couldn't bear it otherwise."

    The smile he turned on her then was the gentlest and kindest she had ever seen, yet once again, and for the same indefinable reason as before, it cut her to the quick. "Yes," he said, without hesitation, "I promise you, Much-Afraid, that when the plant of Love is ready to bloom in your heart and when you are ready to change your name, then you will be loved in return."

-excerpt from Hinds' Feet On High Places by Hannah Hurnard

I, too, am very much afraid of love. I long for it from the depths of my being!...but it scares me so much that I want to run away and hide. What is this love?! So uninhibited, so vulnerable, so unknowing! We are dying for this love while at the same time building walls of protection against it. It is fierce, untamed, dangerous. Jesus did it. And those He loved most abandoned Him. I want to love...but will I be loved in return? I am scared.