Family?

It's hurting. Why did I ever move away from home? Why did I ever have to have an adventurous spirit? My family thinks I am running away or building walls between me and them. The more I feel their disapproval, the more I feel I have to protect myself. I'm forgetting what it's like to have a family. I don't even know who they are anymore. And they don't know who I am. We are like complete strangers, strangers who somehow I'm strangely related to.

I can't live in my parents' house forever. I can't structure my life based on what they think of me. I love them, but I've hurt them. I've been absent in their lives, and it's eaten away at our relationship like an undiscovered cancer. You wake up one morning late in the game, only then realizing that the effects are irrevocable. I didn't mean to, I didn't want to-it just happened. Who am I and where do I belong? I feel like an orphan. My life has been so full, yet I feel so empty. What am I supposed to do?