I can't stand myself lately! I have been noticing more and more how SELFISH I am! At first it started out with a little discontentment, that turned into depression, that turned into a huge blowout! Then it smacked me in the face that sometimes I can just be a self-centered little brat who pouts when I don't get my way!
Problem #1-Even though I recognize this, it doesn't make it any easier to get out of it! I am in a funk. I want to run away, I want to go off and have a little adventure. I don't want to buckle down and humble myself to get this thing out at the root. First of all I'm too tired. Second it's cold out, and that makes me a little cranky because I can't go out and have a nice walk while complaining to God about my woes. Third, well, I just want to have it MY way!
Problem #2 - My spirit won't let me have it my way! It wars inside of me. Because just as much as I want to do what I want to do, my spirit knows better and won't let me go and do it. I know I should be thankful for this, but sometimes it's just plain annoying!
And so...I'm sitting in a funk. Waiting to get out. Waiting to find contentment in God. Waiting until I give in and let go of my stubbornness to fully rely on Him and find my fulfillment in Him.
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