Crying Heart

Spontaneous crying. Excitement at the new possibilities. More crying. The feeling of nothingness. A dull, aching heart. Wanting to do nothing. Wanting to do everything. Sleep. Feel better. Tired. Feel worse. Want to eat. It doesn't satisfy. Feel sick. More crying. Hope. Second-guessing myself. Remembering the good times. Crying a lot! Remembering the not-so-good times. Knowing that I made the right decision. Wondering. Fear. More crying. Sorrow beyond explanation. Trusting. Praying. Loneliness. Emptiness. Cold. More crying. So, this is what a broken heart feels like.

I just want to hug him. To make sure he is okay. To know that he is looking to God to find healing too. I was the one who called it off. But I can't bear the thought that I have caused him so much pain, and myself too...more than I ever thought.